What is work-life balance? It’s sought-after, that’s for sure. A survey conducted by the Association of Executive Search Consultants found that 85 percent of job recruiters have had candidates reject offers because the work-life balance would be, well, imbalanced. We want “balance” because it sounds like a promise; a promise that we can finally be fulfilled now in every sphere. What ends up happening, though, is that our idea of work-life balance works against us, creating a dilemma that keeps us off kilter.
Work*X + life*Y=balance. This is how we tend to see work-life balance, and that’s exactly the problem. We set ourselves up for failure, and a fair amount of guilt. We start keeping track. We try to make that equation balanced, to figure out the right X and Y values to make it all work and to make ourselves happy and satisfied with life. But it doesn’t; it never will because life refuses to fit into neat equations!
- What is your 5-year plan?
- What gives you enjoyment? What gives your life meaning?
- Which aspects of your work life give you meaning, enjoyment, and satisfaction?
- Which aspects of your personal life give you those?
- How can you give yourself the time and energy for the things – whether at work or at home – that give you fulfillment?
- How do you eliminate the aspects that don’t bring you joy or fulfillment?
These are tough questions, and it’s even trickier because the answers are different depending on your goals. Your answers today may not be your answers five years from now. If your goal is to become CEO and make a sizeable salary, your “balance” will obviously skew more towards work. If, later in life, you want a family and spend time with them during their early years, your balance will shift to reflect that.
Sabrina Parsons, CEO of a software firm, mother of 3, and Forbes contributor, writes an interesting piece entitled, “Is ‘Find Work-Life Balance’ Just Code for ‘Feel Guilty’?” in which she talks about this:
“My flow, my balance is someone else’s nightmare. Theirs might be my nightmare. I’d like to see the discussion change from “How do you achieve work life balance?” to “What are your choices, and how do you support them?”
Work-life guilt is not just for moms anymore! That balance is a myth, but creating a meaningful life is not – as long as we drop the dead weight of “balance”. What really helps is thinking about what you want your life to look like, and then setting in place the path that gets you there. Instead of balancing work and life, how can you integrate them?
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 David Swain, BSc Mgmt., MSOD, CEC, PCC with over 30 years’ experience in both coaching the leaders of large organizations and leading them himself.
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